2581

Sometimes, too much knowledge, can be a bad thing

 2580

Randall will:

-get mad at you if you pray for him (he doesn't need the blessing of some phony god)

-get mad at you if you tell him to rest and drink fluids (he already knows that)

-get mad at you if you tell him to be careful (he has previously determined the precise amount of caution optimal for his situation and is exercising it)

-wonder why it's so hard to make friends as an adult

 2579

Randall just can't turn off his formidable science brain, it's a curse sometimes

 2578

Fact checkers have determined that rocks with swords in them are not magical dirt bikes

 2577

The idea that the map is not the territory is a specter of unspeakable horror to Randall.

 2576

Randall is really starting to lose track of what the kids are talking about these days.

 2575

What if xkcd was good