1986

"Hm, this little fact about river borders seemed a lot funnier when I upvoted it on Reddit drunk at 3 in the morning. I should add something about cutting pizza in a circle, that's wacky... OH! And I can have her shout 'CRIMES!' in a wacky way as she's running off! Randall, you genius!"


1987

When do you think was the last time Randall actually wrote a program in Python?

1985

These comics, where the joke is that Randall is just too smart to function in a world built for idiots like you, are the ones I hate the most. It's this kind of not-actually-self-deprecatory humblebragging that really sets my teeth on edge. Of course the communications majors at the TV station wouldn't have ever really thought about questions like these; they're free to enjoy life in blissful ignorance! They can simply accept non-mathematically-rigorous definitions. Oh, what a terrible curse is erudition!

And, hang on, why does the woman have to be the one with the linguistics degree? Is Randall implying that women can't do pure math?

1984

"Activities famously involving only one person" are something of a forte for Randall.

Also, this comic is Randall's birth year!

1982

This just doesn't work, because you can put the categories in any order depending whom you want to be the punch line. All of these, I'm sorry to say, are real controversies with their own partisans, but there's no effort to arrange them in a way that accentuates their silliness (buying all new socks is way sillier than opening bananas a different way). The comic is left without the kind of escalation it needs to operate as a joke.


1983

This is perhaps the least meaningful way in which Randall could benefit from studying the life of St. Francis.

1981

XKCD peaked ten years ago too, heyoooooo

1980

Apart from the extraneous caption, this is not terrible! While redolent of GOOMH-bait, there's a recognizable joke here, with a setup and punchline. I could maybe complain that Turkish delight is only a plot point in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, so it's inaccurate to say "the Narnia books", but I can hardly bring myself to be so cruel. So mark your calendars, dear readers: on April 13, 2018, XKCD didn't suck.

No, the main problem with this is theological. That Turkish delight isn't all that great is sort of the whole point of Edmund's betrayal. He is willing to sell out his family for a few pieces of candy, and not even an especially great candy. Consider Romans 6:20-21. Edmund's betrayal earns him nothing, except to make him a slave to the White Witch, who soon begins driving him with a whip.

Our own sins are similar, as we willingly turn aside from One Who loves us for the trifling glamours of evil. Christ has already made the sacrifice to redeem us from slavery to sin, and we need only choose to accept it. All temptation amounts to nothing more than Turkish delight, and ends in nothing more than slavery.

1979

This comic raises several questions. I will attempt to list them according to the magnitude of the problems they illustrate in the millennial mind.

1. Did Randall actually not know that President Garfield was assassinated?
2. Did Randall previously assume anything he doesn't remember from sixth grade history doesn't matter?
3. Does Randall not read old books?*
4. Did the point of the quoted passage-- the sense of perspective about the ultimate historical significance of current events-- really elude him completely?






*This one is a trick question, we have already been given ample evidence that the answer is "no"

1978

If I wanted wooden, artificial dialogue leading up to banal observations about current events I'd read Doonesbury. Why does Randall always insist on belaboring these manufactured conversations in the service of such pitiful zingers? The bit where the Randall character says "Funny how things turn out" is the icing on the mediocrity cake.

1977

Yes I too enjoy reposts of jokes that have been on bash.org since Saddam Hussein was alive

1976

GET HELP RANDALL

1975

At first, I was prepared to applaud this as a tour-de-force of shitposting*: so much effort being put forth for so small a purpose. But then I started feeling like there's some lame ARG buried in here somewhere, so forget it.




*Except for a small formatting issue with the song that doesn't end; it doesn't quite nest properly in the menus.